CHAPTER ONE
Introduction
I once knew the definition of “old.” It was anyone twenty years
older than I was.
At age forty-nine, my friends and I made a lot of arrogant snap
judgments, imagining we knew over-the-hill when we saw it . . . you know, the
snow-capped head, the forward-tilted posture, the scurrying out for dinner at
four in the afternoon.
Who knew how fast those twenty years would melt away—or how
anything-but-old most of us would then feel?
Now that my husband and I sometimes head out for dinner at 4:15
(because how else will I make the class I teach at 6:30?) or occasionally, like
Seinfeld’s parents, because we’re simply hell bent on making Soup Plantation’s
Early Bird special . . . now that I haven’t seen my real hair color in this
century . . . it’s time to declare that “old” must mean some other age. And
someone else. Surely it doesn’t apply to me.
And if it doesn’t, why not?
Herein I offer the little bag of tricks that can make Seventy seem
even younger than middle-aged . . . or anyway, younger than you once believed.
P.S. YOU’LL NOTICE THAT THIS book, besides sporting large type, is
largely autobiographical. As with my writing books, it’s easiest to teach from
experiences I’ve actually lived through—from the various situations I know
first-hand.
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