HOW BAD EDITS CAN MAKE A GOOD PIECE CLUNKY

HOW BAD EDITS CAN MAKE A GOOD PIECE CLUNKY

Yesterday--Saturday, September 15--my letter was printed in the Los Angeles Times.  The letter was in response to an op-ed by Jonah Goldberg, some 4  days earlier.  I was happy to see it there . . . until I read the actual, revised text.   

My Original Letter to L.A. Times: 

It’s always good to have Jonah Goldberg flirt with the Democratic position--even when it's "more or less."  As Goldberg laments the lack of adherence to tradition and rules from President Trump, he seeks some kind of "equivalency" with Obama and his administration. He seems to forget that in the eight years of the Obama presidency there was not one hint of scandal. When Obama broke with tradition, it was only because the Republican Congress thwarted his every move. Yet in two years, President Trump has inspired so many scandals we can't keep track of them all.   Goldberg can't accept that between these two there is no equivalency.   

Maralys Wills.  (address and phone number included.)   

Los Angeles Times Version: 

It’s always good to have Goldberg flirt with the Democratic position, even when it’s “more or less.” As he laments Trumps’s disregard of tradition and rules, he seeks some kind of equivalency with the behavior of the current president’s predecessor.

Goldberg seems to forget that in the eight years of the Obama presidency, there was not one hint of scandal. When Obama broke with tradition, it was only because the Republicans in Congress thwarted his every move.

Yet in not even two years, President Trump has been in so many scandals that we can’t keep track of them all. Goldberg can’t accept that between these two, there nothing close to an equivalency.   (they left out an “is.” )

(Here’s an example of how edits, good and bad, can change a piece.  I’ve underlined the Times’  changes.  The Time’s second line is an improvement.  All changes after that make it worse, even awkward.  A good example for all you writers—and just readers--to see.) 

My new romance,  "Wait for the Wind" is now available on Amazon.  Or you can buy it directly from me, autographed, through an email: Maralys@Cox.net.